I've heard it said for the last 3 years that the meanest-lady-of-all-time lives on the lane behind my house. She has been affectionately named THE TROLL by all the kids in the neighborhood. I've tempted fate a few times and walked down that lane and every time I have felt a little creeped out knowing that there is some mean lady somewhere waiting to chase me away, but every time I've made it without even a sighting.
This morning my ward was doing service throughout the neighborhood and cleaning up the landscape of a few homes. The home of a cute 90-year-old lady, who happens to live on Troll Lane, was chosen as a recipient. I provided my service at that house for a little while, left to get some lunch, and then had to drop off a key at a house above the lane (the street the key house is on is connected to Troll Lane). After I dropped off the key I decided to swing back by the service house to see if I could do anymore. Instead of walking all the way around the block I decided to cut through the lane to the service house... This put me in prime position for my Troll encounter.
As soon as I started walking that way, I noticed an old bearded (just stating the facts) lady and her husband standing in the lane and the second my foot left the nicely paved street and landed on the gravely lane, the bearded lady almost forcefully demanded my name. I politely responded and then she insisted on knowing where i live... I knew right then and there who I was dealing with. The husband unknowlingly saved me when he noticed my unsually large muscles (kidding) and decided I could be of some assistance to him. He had been struggling to clear a nearly dead tree branch up in his tree and decided I was just the help he needed. He had me climb up a really tall ladder and toss a rope about 6 feet in front of me over the tree branch so that he could pull the mostly severed branch out of the tree. I glady helped him and then had what i thought was a very pleasant conversation with the man and his troll. :) All the while I was thinking that this was just like the movies...some old lady that seems mean, but turns out she is just a really nice lady who has been misunderstood for years . I WAS WRONG!!! (I should have clued in when the husband mentioned that he loved people, but his wife, not so much).
After our little conversation and the service I had provided them, I figured I had earned my passage through the lane, so I continued on. The wife kind of slyly followed me down the lane, out of earshot of her husband, and then repremanded me for passing through and told me that she does not want me to ever set foot in their lane again!!!! And then she kindly followed that up with, "maybe we will see you....when we take our trash out to your street." And so I think I will side with the kids on this one and forever refer to my loving neighbor as THE TROLL!
I can test hearing from my iphone (if I had one, but I don't- NOT.EVEN.CLOSE. My old skool free phone knows how to call and text. period. nothing more-not even the internet).
And my research (sample size, n=1) shows that the results are kind of legit (the low frequency hearing thresholds were a little worse by the iphone than a sound booth, but close). 
